I'm a little up in my feelings tonight. It's been 6 months since I was diagnosed with kidney cancer. I mean, who gets kidney cancer?!? It's more common than one would think, but I doubt that I would really know any of the things that I know about it if I wasn't affected by it. I can tell you that it sucks, and there's no chemo or radiation or any treatment that is proven to even help deter or kill it. It's so unpredictable and one never knows when or if it will come back. There are times that I feel like a ticking time bomb... just waiting for the next little explosion. I've been blessed in that I have very skilled and competent surgeons and they've done right by me. They've removed the cancer completely with each operation...if only there were some sort of filtering device to scrub the blood clean! I'm not trying to make light of any of it, but I'm kind of running out of expendable organs and body parts to remove! I'm going to just keep on going... fighting the fight and living my life. I have been feeling really good, and worrying a bit less. There are days that it is all I can think about, days that I fight back the tears and try to swallow the lump in my throat. There are also days that are almost like... normal. Not new normal, but old - before you were told you had cancer- normal. Most of today felt a lot like before I had cancer normal. It was nice.
I enrolled the boys for the 2017-2018 school year today. Cody is a senior. This is it, his last year of high school. I don't even believe it. Time goes at warp speed when you're a parent. Perhaps the reality of this is a part of my emotions tonight? I just cannot believe how grown my little chunky blue-eyed monkey is. Sigh.
Ryan is a sophomore. 15. I pray for that boy. Every day. He struggles and doesn't hide it well at times, but every once in awhile his pure, happy heart shines through. He's come a long way. Onward and upward and I'm excited to see what the next few months and years bring for him.
Braden is a 5th grader. I just can't even grasp that. I will say that I'm pretty stoked that we will only be cranking out two more Pickens Science Fair projects....Hallelujah!
