Ending the year with a .... biopsy.

First - I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas full of faith, love, family and food.  I worked Christmas Eve and met up with my husband and boys at church.  We spent time with Jeremy's mom and stayed up too late being silly.  Christmas morning we all slept in and took our time getting around.  Enjoyed a relaxed lunch and then headed out to Manhattan that evening, we were late but right on time for the most fun gift exchange every year.  We spent the night at my parent's, where Dad went off to graduate cardiac rehab - Congrats Papa! - and those lucky ducks headed off to Arizona yesterday.  I worked Friday, Saturday and Sunday....trying to keep my mind busy.  

Well....here it is.  The update that I have been avoiding. 

I guess I just thought that if I didn't talk about it, it would come and go and be done.  Unfortunately, my anxiety has gotten the better of me and I need to TALK about it.  

I had my follow up scans on the Friday before Christmas, the 20th.  This was the last set of scans before I was to move to annual visits... and I followed up with Dr Klingler on Monday the 23rd.  My MRI report did not come back clear this time.  There is a small area growing on/near my liver.  The good news is that IF it is malignant, it is not as aggressive as Bertha was, since it has only grown a small bit, and IF it is the same type as Bertha, the area will be removed surgically (and my hernias from my original incision will be repaired) and that will hopefully be the end of that.... with routine scans to continue indefinitely, of course.  

It is discouraging, but I am honestly not as terrified as I was with Bertha.  It is what it is...and it is what it will be.  There isn't any sense in getting worked up or upset about it - but I wont lie and say that I haven't shed a few tears.  I just feel like we have come so far and accomplished so much the past few years - it stinks that there has to be ANOTHER speed bump.  

So, tomorrow...December 31st...I will go in for a 

biopsy.  I should be home sometime in the evening, and will have the next day at home to recover.  Hopefully there will be results before the end of the week, but I will not be too surprised if it is next week before I hear anything.  I am starting to get a little bit concerned about the discomfort after the biopsy, especially since I learned that they are going to have to go between my ribs - that just does not sound so pleasant.  Sigh...just send up a prayer or two and hug my boys a little tight for me if you see them.