I learned a lot from 2017. We gained a lot from 2017. We also lost a lot in 2017.
I lost my idea of being invincible and that “something like that won’t ever happen to ME”. Well, it did, folks. And, while I’m so ready to be done with all things kidney and cancer, I know that it will stay with me forever. My scars may be ugly, but slowly they’re healing and lightening...and in a way, I’m thankful that they will always be there. They remind me to pray, to thank God for all of the good things that are in my life. They remind me that even when everything appears to be scary and hopeless, there is always something to be thankful for. There are always prayers to be said and many that are answered.
We lost people in 2017, and with them went a little piece of our hearts that will remain with them forever. I hope that those that we lost at their own hands are finally at peace and able to rest. I wish we could go back so that you could see that you were not alone and that there were so many people that would do anything to change your actions that day. We miss you.
To those that we lost to illness, and other medical issues, I rejoice that you are now perfect and whole and no longer in pain ... but our hearts ache for all of you. We miss you.
2017 gave me clarity, and reminded me of the value of good, true friends. I got rid of the people that made me feel inadequate, and who encouraged that nasty behavior that I felt sick about. As my dear friend always tells me, “you’re better than that, Nicole.” He’s right. I’m better than that and I’ve chosen to surround myself with the people that inspire me to be better than average, to think before I speak, and to build others up, rather than tear them down. I am trying, and while I’m not perfect...I am definitely a better person today than I was a year ago. I value the closeness that I have with my quarters, and while there are still some pennies, they are the extra shiny ones. The shiny ones that may have been dull at one time. They still add value to my life, and some are quickly becoming quarters. I’ve discarded the dull, dirty ones and to be honest... it’s an amazing feeling. I struggle at times, but I don’t ever feel remorse or wish I was back around them. I will continue to pray that they, too can be better- but I’m not holding my breath.
I am filled with great love for my family, my friends. I’m blessed to have friendships that become family and to share in their joys, including experiencing the love of their children. We are all building this wonderful little village, that I hope will continue into and beyond their generation.
I enjoy daily reminders of hope, encouragement and funnies from the friends I have chosen to surround myself with, and I can only hope that I am as good to them as they are to me. I am going to make a more conscious effort to let people know that I appreciate them and care for them...
I have changed jobs and while I do miss the people that I used to help care for, I am so happy with my position now. I am steadily working to change the letters following my name and have been given the most amazing support system! I am working full time at Stormont-Vail, on the stroke floor. I have learned so much in the last 3 months, and continue to learn new things every day. I have met some really great people and am excited to grow relationships with my new co-workers.
In the end,
I am honored to be walking along with those of you taking a part of my journey. I wish you many things including joy, love and health in 2018. May you always feel loved by those around you, supported in your struggles and victories, and always know that I am just a phone call, text or thought away from you should you need anything. There is nothing too big or too small for us to do together, and the good Lord willing, He will be holding our hands throughout it all.
Much love, and thank you! ❤️
No comments:
Post a Comment