Queen In a House of Blue: Let's not google that...

I told my mom right away..."Don't be googling that...don't google anything"

I know better.

Jennifer and Amie have said it daily, and they even shoot me the evil eye when I start off a sentence with "so, I was doing some research last night, and..."

I CANNOT HELP IT.

I want to know everything. The problem here is that I know too much and not enough at the same time.

I know this... There is a mass on my left kidney. I know that it measures no less than 9 cm and up to 11 cm. (Depends on which scan is being looked at and who is interpreting it) I know that if there is a mass on your kidney that is less than 7 cm, the kidney can possibly be saved and just the mass removed. I also know that my mass is bigger than that and so therefore, my whole kidney will be removed. There are lymph nodes nearby that will also be removed.

I do not know this....and will not know until my physician tells me, despite what the google machine says, because you and I both know that I already have it all figured out...

What the mass is made of - benign or malignant cells and what kind of impact this will have on us in the future...

where it came from...

when it got there...

Wait...I lie, I (kind of) do know that answer.

I know that when I had a CT scan done on March 1, 2010 and my appendix removed, Dr Klingler said there was no evidence of a mass or any other abnormality present. So, stupid Bertha has grown 9 -11 cm in 6 years and 11 months, IF she decided to take up residence the day that CT was done. I also know that Dr Klingler told Jeremy that renal masses typically grow about 3mm per year. So, not only is she intrusive and stupid, she is a fatass...growing all warp speed and stuff.

Another thing that I know is that nobody can give me an answer as to what caused this. I am a former smoker. I have not smoked a cigarette in 15 months, and was not a terribly heavy smoker anyway. One is too many, but whatever....what is done is done. I am also obese. I am not a male, or over the age of 55, nor do I misuse narcotics or OTC pain meds. I have always had really great BP, even being obese....and to my knowledge, there isn't family history of kidney disease or issues. It is all just so weird.

I am not going to be discouraged. Aside from the hematuria, back/side pain, nausea/vomiting *which may be nerves too* and elevated calcium levels...

I am almost disappointed that I got stuck with the ones I have, rather than the loss of weight and appetite that I could have. :)

Anyway, I am feeling good today - Zofran and Percocet are doing their jobs. Monday is quickly approaching.

I feel like I keep repeating myself. It isn't my intention. I actually logged on to blog about Piggy Beach and swimming with elephants in Thailand. I want to do those things some day.