I am not the 10%, but things could be so much worse.

Monday....Jeremy took me to LMH and we got all checked in at 5:45 am.  It was time to tell Bertha goodbye, and good riddance.  I had the best team - they were truly amazing.  I was visited by the anesthesiologist and then Dr Klingler - yes, I asked for pictures and he assured me that they would love to get some for me, I will be seeing them on Monday when I have my followup appointment with him.  

I don't remember leaving that little room, or Jeremy telling me goodbye.  The next thing I know, I am hurting.  Bad.  The worst pain I had ever experienced.  I hope that I NEVER have to go through that again, and that nobody I know ever has to experience it either.  EVER.  I was seriously MISERABLE.  I couldn't eat, couldn't move, and I am pretty sure that I complained and cried all day long.  I really am not sure how I lived through that, it was so bad.      

At some point, everyone left.  I had visitors - bless your hearts!  I apologize! I didn't know that Aunt Shawna and Taylor had come, or Jeremy's parents.  I do remember my mom, Jeremy and my bestie Shauna being there.  I finally got some relief and was able to eat some jello and sat up in the chair for a bit...I knew that the more I moved the better off I would be, but it was horrendous!

I tried to sleep, tried to lay completely still, as long as I didn't move - everything was at least tolerable.  My nurses were really great, but I would have preferred that they not wake me up every time they came in.  I finally asked them to not wake me and to just do what they needed to do.  I was able to get some sleep after that.  The lab lady and the dining services girl showed up knocking on the door around 5:30 am on Tuesday morning...at that point I gave up on sleeping.  I still had a lot of pain, but it was NOTHING like the day before.  Dr Klingler came to see me at about 7:20 am.  He did his assessment, told me that my lone kidney was functioning well and that my lab work all looked great.  He stated that he would be back to see me later on, and said that he would contact me as soon as he had the pathology report back.  He suggested that I might possibly be able to go home later (I was pretty sure he was crazy!) - if I could get up and around, and get my pain under control.  I was able to get the catheter out and discontinue IV antibiotics and fluids ...saying goodbye to the catheter wasn't a big deal, but I wont lie, I was nervous about the IV being out.  I really liked those meds, and I was TERRIFIED to feel like I did the day before.  Turns out, I had it in until it was time to leave, and I did not need any more pain meds through it.  I was able to do a lot more for myself as the day went on, and I went back and forth about leaving.  Dr Klingler came in and visited with me again.  Still no pathology report but he promised to call me as soon as he had anything, and I requested that he just give me the results over the phone, rather than having to drive in again.   He told me that I would be coming in to see him on Monday, and that I would be seen by Oncology either Thursday or Friday, and sent a nurse to have the unit secretary get that set up for me.  They returned with an appointment time of 10:00 am on Wednesday or 8:30 am on Friday.  As much as I would have loved to have gotten it done and over with as soon as possible, it wasn't likely that the pathology report would be completed in time for an appointment on Wednesday.  So, Friday it is.  I hung out a bit longer and then decided that I was ready to go home.  I am sure that Natalie and Nicole and Kristina were ready for me to go, too!  haha  They were great to me, I hope I wasn't too big of a pain for them.  Jeremy got me loaded up and off we went.  I realized after we got home that I left behind one of the images the Dr Klingler got for me.  Bummer.

The ride home was a bit rough, but we made it.  We got home just in time for my momma and Cody to be walking out the door to go see Eric Church.  They had a great time.  I am glad for that.  

I slept on the couch (in the recliner on one end) and was all snug and supported by pillows.  I got up this morning, took a shower, and got dressed.  Made me feel halfway human again.  Today was a bit testy.  I was on edge and could not keep my mind occupied so in turn I became really agitated and snippy, mom was anxious, and Jeremy was too.  He had several things that he wanted get done, but was worried if he left then he would miss the phone call.  It was a very long day.  I have tried to spread out the doses of pain meds and realize that it is still just a bit too soon for that.  I am now trying to catch back up and get ahead of it...having a kidney removed does not compare in any way, shape, or form to having a total hysterectomy.  I seriously underestimated this process and was not prepared for this type of pain or recovery AT ALL.  

FINALLY Dr Klingler called me at 5:27 pm.  

He stated that he had gotten the results from pathology and it was as we suspected and I have grade 3 Renal Cell Carcinoma.  He said that the lymph nodes were clear, which is great news! and he feels that the cancer was hopefully contained to the kidney and adrenal gland, which have been removed.  I will be seen by Dr Huerter at LMH in oncology and we will go from there.  Best case is that there is no need for further treatment at this time, but that I will need to follow up and just keep an eye on things.  I will then follow up with Dr Klingler in his office Monday and decide at that time if I will be followed by oncology from there on out or Dr Klingler, or both.  

So.  There it is.  While I have a huge relief that the lymph nodes were clear, I also have a cancer diagnosis, and I am scared.  Very scared.  I also have a lot of research to do, and a million questions for Friday.  

I am thankful for my family, friends and those of you that have prayed for me, thought of me, wished me good things.  I am thankful for LMH ... Dr Trent and Kelley, Dr Klingler and Natalie, Ashley, Nicole and Kristina.  I am thankful for speedy action and amazing communication, and I am thankful for pain meds.  I am thankful that I believe in a God that is good....and that is so good to me, even through trials.